Today I Will Be Brave

I have been working on this post in my head and heart for quite a while.  There are so many aspects to this journey we make through life; but there is one that has pretty much dominated my waking moments for as long back as I can remember....my weight.  My hesitation in writing this has been two-fold.  One is that I am sure people everywhere are sick and tired of hearing complaints about weight and size and all the frustration that accompanies it.  The second, and probably the biggest, is that I am afraid.  Afraid of another failure.  Afraid of being shown to be a fraud or a loser.  I have lost and gained so much weight in my lifetime that it is downright embarassing.  I have "succeeded" and I have "failed" repeatedly during my 54 years. But today I will be brave and stand before this giant in my life as David stood before Goliath in his day.

So what is this all about then? I am on a mission to honor God in every part of my life.  As I search through my life to find ANYTHING that I might honor more than God I find that there is a problem.  When I am sad or bored or really happy do I run to God either to ask for His help or to thank Him for what He has done?  The answer, unfortunately, is not usually.  What, you may ask, do I do instead?  I EAT!

The world has made a joke of women running to the freezer for ice cream when we are depressed or eating chocolate when our heart is broken.  The church has made food the center of almost every celebration known to man.  Stress eating is a topic of conversation in every weight loss group.  The list goes on and on.

So what stirred this particular journey?  I read a book that stirred my heart.  The point of the book?  We were created to CRAVE....but not in the way that the world craves.  We were made to crave GOD!  To long for God!  To run to God when we are sad or happy, broken-hearted or elated.  We were designed to yearn for Him and His fellowship.  I was made to walk in a relationship with God.

And so, my challenge to myself is to allow God to work in my heart and body in such a way that the life I lead and the way I eat will bring honor and glory to HIM.  For me, the culprit that has stolen my heart is carbohydrates....sweets, bread, sugar, starch...all of them.  And the evidence of this theft is carried with me every day that I live...in.my weight and in my physical well-being....right out there for the whole world to see.  As I have been praying over this and debating in my heart what to do I have come to one conclusion.  What I weigh cannot be the focus of this particular journey.  That motivation has failed me time and time again and I am sick of caring about that.  What I DO care about is knowing that I am obedient to whatever God speaks to my heart and that is where this journey begins.  I am not getting on the scale every day because losing, gaining or staying the same is not my focus.  Obedience to God is my goal and my motivation.  I will not be such a hypocrite as to say that losing weight does not matter to me...of course it does!  What I AM saying is that losing weight will be a testimony of what God is doing in my heart and life...not the goal.

I do not have anyone walking this journey with me to hold me accountable and so this blog will by my accountability...hence the bravery :o)  Whether anyone ever reads this, I am baring my heart in these words.  I am making a promise to God and I know that He will respond with His strength and love. 

And so it begins............................................................

Beautiful Beaches

Today I finished working a little earlier than I had planned...at least the part of my work that I have to drive around to do.  So, I treated myself to a little time at the beach...once I realized that it was only two miles away from my hotel.  I have never seen the beaches on the west coast of Florida before today.  It was really beautiful.  The water was green and there were more waves than I am used to on the coast of  South Carolina.  The down side is that there were lots of shells so it was a little hard to walk barefoot.

I saw this very interesting house along the beach.  It certainly was unusual.  I am only assuming that it was built to stand against hurricanes.  I have seen houses that were built to withstand the weather before, but this one was really pretty.

I read in a book recently that God's creation is not primarily functional; it is primarily BEAUTIFUL!  I always feel like God is telling me how much He loves me when I see the beauty of nature; the tide rolling up on the beach, the mountains, a waterfall...so many beautiful sights and sounds that speak to us of God's great love!  I am always amazed that anyone can look at all of the wonders of nature and still not believe in the God who created it all.

I am grateful for a job that allows me to sneak in little moments like these along the way.  But now I must get back to those parts of work that I can complete in my hotel room (e-mails, completing a few reports...exciting stuff like that)  And tomorrow....I head home!

The pros and cons of travelling for work

As I sit in a hotel room in Florida....again....I am thinking of how much I would rather be home.  I am very thankful for my job and I am certainly not complaining about needing to travel...I actually rather enjoy it...but at the same time I am thinking about home and the little things that I miss when I am away.  So here are some of the things that I miss when I am travelling away from home for work.....................

1.  I miss my family...Gene,the kids...everyone.  It's not that I see them all everyday; but I do love knowing that they are nearby.

2.  I miss my chair.  It is never really comfortable in a hotel room, no matter how nice it may be.

3.  I miss eating dinner with my family.  I am not a fan of eating alone in a hotel room...with plastic utensils and a towel on my lap.

4.  I miss being able to just walk outside if I want to...to water the flowers, chat with Gene in the garage, whatever.  I do make time to walk around and stretch my legs while travelling...but it's just not the same.

5.  I miss the DVR (I know...I am spoiled but I do enjoy being able to pause, rewind, record a show and watch it while skipping over commercials)

6.  I miss my own bed...with my own pillows...and my fans (yes that is plural)

7.  I miss being able to control the temperature.  No matter how many times I adjust the thermostat in a hotel room I just can't get it quite right.

8.  And...most of all...I miss Gene rubbing my back while I am going to sleep.  Like I said...I am SPOILED!

But, not to sound all negative, here are a few things I enjoy about travelling for work:

1.  I like seeing different places, pretty scenery and all that.  Tomorrow I will see one of the prettiest places...the skyline of St Petersburg as you cross the bridge coming into the city.  It is really beautiful; especially at sunset.

2.  I enjoy meeting nice people.  It is good to know that there are nice people every where you go IF you look for them.

3.  I actually enjoy the time driving alone.  I find a good book on CD to be relaxing and in between those I DO like rocking out to some good music.  Yes, I am one of those crazy people you see "car-dancing" down the highway...which I would NOT do if someone else was in the car.  I really enjoy worship music when I leave out early in the morning.

4.  I like capuccino and the only time I get it is when I head out early in the morning for a long drive.  By the way...not the good stuff that you spend a fortune for at Starbucks.  I like the cheap stuff you get at the local gas station :o)

5.  And the thing that I like MOST about travelling for work....drumroll please....IS GOING HOME!! :O)

I Am A Procrastinator

I wonder if there is a 12-step program for procrastinators?  If so...I should get around to joining one day.  "Hi!  My name is Pam Harmon and I am a procrastinator."  There are things I really would like to do...if I ever get around to it...like blogging.
So today I take one giant step and sit here to write.
To catch up...our grandson Wesley is here and now 8 weeks old.  He is precious and handsome and BIG and I can't wait to get my hands on him again :o)  Katie (our 3-yr-old) has had her tonsils and adenoids removed...I hate to think of her hurting, but she is such a brave little thing and is getting better every day.  Abby has finished her first year of school...4-yr kindergarden.  She is growing so fast and is such a good big sister to Katie and Wesley.  Ethan is out west with his Mom and Dad and I can't wait for them to get back.  Saturday we will celebrate his first birthday...our little man is getting big way too fast.
My baby has finished her first year of college and done so swimmingly!  Dean's list, job as an RA, new clubs, new friends...we are so proud of how she is becoming such a wonderful young woman...much like her sisters before her.
Our son has gotten married to a beautiful young lady.  They eloped to St. Lucia and got married underwater...yep, in full diving gear.  It was the wedding they both wanted and they have beautiful pictures and videos so that they could come back and share the wonder of it with all of us.
So, even though I procrastinate, life keeps happening and moving past almost in a blur.  I want to capture every moment and hold onto it forever.  Maybe that's why I procrastinate...if I don't hurry on to the next moment maybe I can make this one last a little longer?  If so, it is not working.  The moments are passing too fast...so we take pictures and try very hard to be present for all of those moments so that I will never have to regret missing any of them.
So here's to procrastinating...may I procrastinate just enough to enjoy every moment; but not so much that I miss opportunities to enjoy and learn new things, have new adventures and see all of the wonders that there are to enjoy all around me....and get all of  my work done, of course :o)

The New Year

Well, I think I can officially say that the New Year is here for me.  I have finally unpacked my suitcase and makeup bag!  During the season, when I am working and travelling so much, I never completely unpack anything...I basically live out of it even when I am home.  Saves time packing to leave again. 
But now I am home for a long time...hallelujah!  Life resumes its steady pace filled with a more normal work schedule, family, laundry...all the good stuff. 
As this new year really gets started there are so many things I am thankful for and so much that brings joy to my life.  For starters, I LOVE being home.  I am so thankful that I can be here every day.  I can resume a more sedate schedule and a much more relaxed pace of living.  I realize how fortunate I am to enjoy my home the way I do and I am thankful to God for this very great blessing.
My heart is filled with so much love for my family.  God has been so good to us with our wonderful kids and now these delightful grandchildren.  I think GRANNY is the most beautiful word in the world and I LOVE hearing it! There should be a verse in the Bible that says "a hug from a grandchild brings life to the bones" because it is certainly true.  Abby just turned 5 and is delightfully grown-up, Katie is 3 and a treasure to be around and Ethan is 8 months and the very sight of him brings such joy!  How blessed we are!  And in less than 5 weeks little Wesley will be here....I cannot wait to hold that little guy and tell him how much I love him!  My heart can handle all of these that my children choose to bless us with...being Granny is the best occupation in the world.
Another milestone just around the corner is our 34th wedding anniversary.  Yep, Gene and I will have been married for 34 years in just a few months.  Marriage is such a journey filled with smooth pavement and potholes, but we continue to learn how to navigate and listen to the GPS (the Holy Spirit) that God put in us when we accepted Him into our lives.  When we follow the directions from our GPS we love and grow and share and life is good.  When we decide to take our own shortcuts...well, let's just say that the road gets very bumpy! I prefer to avoid the bumps and, since Gene and I are in agreement on that point, it makes this empty nest a fairly pleasant place to be!
It has been a little while since I began this entry.  I have made a few minor changes (to account for the time lapse) and here it is.  It may take me a while to get the hang of this; but I think I might just keep on trying :o)